Sipping a cup of tea and looking outside, enjoying the rain and droplets of water falling over to the ground, sitting five thousand miles away from my hometown, what’s that going through my mind? Is it a feeling of nostalgia or is it a proud feeling of being accomplished or is there anywhere a feeling of anxiety to achieve more in my life, haunting me? Did the visit to the Dr office last month spoil anything? There’s something bothering and pricking, but it’s a puzzle to figure it out.
I was born and brought-up in Kerala, southernmost state in India, which is also fondly known as ‘Gods Own Country’. A narrow strip of land situated at the south western coast of the country is the scenic land of coconut trees, cool backwaters, lush hills and green landscape, like something that came out of a painter’s imagination – a state of natural splendor! Still all fresh in my mind, holding my mom’s hand walking to the kindergarten of St. Thomas School in Palakkad and being the naughtiest boy in the class doing all crazy things. Did I ever give a dull time to my mom? Waiting for the 3:30 PM last bell in the school, used to rush back home to have the fresh food getting ready for me and then spend around two to three hours with my friends, running all over and playing outside…Wasn’t that the beautiful period of my life? Wasn’t that I should have given to my kids also to experience, rather than the world with the electronic gadgets?
Time slowly passed and came the critical point in my life, to choose the career after my twelfth grade. The toughest and scary period, that any kid passes through in his life, back in India during that time. Early 90’s was the period, where almost everyone aspires to sit for the ‘entrance’ exam and secure a seat for engineering or medical schools. If you don’t win in this life changing, three to four-hour exam, you are almost helpless and into the state of mind, ‘now-what’? With that accumulated stress, sat for the exam, praying to all the gods I know, to make it easy for me…For sure, even people standing near to me, would have heard my heart beat like a drum roll! After a month waiting for the results, seeing my register number in the local newspaper, wasn’t I standing at the top of the world? Don’t think even winning a jackpot now, would be able to give the kind of happiness and feeling of accomplishment that the seventeen-year-old kid gone through at that time! Time passed, was fortunate enough to get a chance to work in the world’s best companies and travel around the world. As with the wheel of time, things changed and new responsibilities came my way, along with my admission to one of the prestigious schools in New Jersey to pursue my passion, to do something what I want to. Isn’t this be called the pinnacle of success? May be…Nevertheless, I enjoyed the stress and pressure on me to meet what’s needed at my office, my home, daily assignments and studies from the school.
In between, came the time for the yearly visit to my doctor, who recently started advising ‘less google and rely on his knowledge’. Did he notice anything unusual? What’s the need for the specialist referal? He changed my regular hypertension pills to something different along with his million dollar advise, ‘Slow Down’! “What, trying to scare me…never..”. Relied on google again and found what I need to do, Meditation!!! Something that can uncurl everything and was happy to find my savior in the session. Started the same and as usual, came the thoughts, why all going slow paced…turns, bends, stretches, why can’t we have it all as a package? Gained the courage and decided to ask my savior, he patiently ‘screamed’, ‘Slow Down‘! “Well, this guy should be a relative of the previous Dr…” This is not the place I need to be. Raised hand again for another question. Seemingly annoyed, thinking I may be requesting restroom permission, got instantaneous and clear permission and I ended up going..What the heck, “Stay Focused and Slow Down”, on the restroom wall. Ahh, is this world not for me…Or is it the restroom advice that I need to carry forward….
Un rêveur!!! 